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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Epiphany on Klein Road

I have been wanting to write about this experience for some time now, but I somehow always seem to forget.  I have been working hard to rehabilitate my knee so I can potentially run again.  I'm realizing that this will happen, probably sooner rather than later. As I am going through this healing and rehab process, I'm constantly reminded of an experience I had on Klein Road when I was 18 years old.  Not only must I not forget it, but I need to share it.

I was home from SUNY Albany for Spring break in 2002.  It was unseasonably warm for March, and I'd left most all of my summer running clothes in my dorm room.  Not even some forgotten running clothes could keep me off the roads, though.  I headed from my parent's house, down the street, and made my way a couple of miles in a long-sleeved t-shirt and spandex.  Beads of sweat were pouring down my face, and I realized I was becoming fatigued.  As an Amherst Police car was about to pass me near Bassett Park, I thought about the "tough girl" cop I wanted to be. Proceeding down Klein Road, I was pushing my body to the limit and telling myself how I needed to work hard, fight, and run simply to win.  The sweat, fatigue and sheer determination would pay off in my training.  I was "good" and I knew it.

Then something happened...

It was if a whisper told me I had it all wrong.  "Nicole, look what you have."  I felt the beautiful late-afternoon sun on my face as my feet propelled me forward, gliding across the pavement.  With each breath I took, as my feet lightly touched the road, a multitude of new thoughts filled my head.   I was suddenly "flying".  I came to an awesome realization.  I wasn't on a "tough girl" training mission.  Rather, I was experiencing a gift that God gave to me; the gift of being able to enjoy something as simple as putting one foot in front of the other in the form of running.

From this "Lenten Run", as I like to call it, I learned so much.  My attitude changed.  It wasn't about my piddly 5k races and adding to my trophy shelf... it was about the simple, pure joy and ecstasy I was able to experience through the sweat, the fatigue, the sun, the air, and the beauty surrounding me in this little corner of the world as I ran.  This was something I'd never experienced before, but have experienced many times since.  I wondered how many others were out there, running, and experiencing the same feelings as me.

I didn't become a police officer, and I never reached the times I'd hoped to attain when I raced.  I never got to run in college and I've never even run a marathon... but through the ups and downs I've had in life -- especially with my health, when I run, I know it's where I'm meant to be.  When I run, He's there with me as I enjoy the beauty of the world in a very special way.  Encountering God as I move forward in this amazing journey I call the race of life, I feel blessed to have such an awesome running partner...

Monday, February 24, 2014

My Future as a Runner

This past November, I had a lateral release of my left kneecap so it could be realigned, along with the back of my patella smoothed out.  It was pretty "beat up" as my surgeon put it.

I've been in physical therapy for about a month, and making progress.  I don't walk down stairs like a little old lady anymore.  I can bike, walk and do some simple exercises to strengthen the muscles around my kneecap.

I saw my orthopedic surgeon today. "Running might be in your future, down the road."  To which I replied, "How far down the road?"  "Maybe next summer."  I couldn't believe it.  "Maybe?"

I just bought a cute t-shirt from Target that said, "Run Fast or Be Last" because it was only 7 dollars.  I should be happy that I'm walking okay at this point...  but running as a "maybe?"

I know I'm not God's gift to the sport, but running has certainly been a gift to me.  When I run, I feel better about myself, can think more clearly, and I just use it as my time to just relax and meditate.

I cannot imagine this not being part of my future, and I don't know how to deal with that.